Overwhelmed by Life? How I Learned to Take It One Day at a Time

Have you ever cried in the shower?

I have. More times than I'd like to admit.

It's a good place for it, isn't it? The water's running. No one can hear you. And for a few minutes, you don't have to hold it all together.

That's where life hit me the hardest. Standing there in total despair, feeling stuck, rejected and distraught, and seeing no way out. Realizing just how lonely I really was.

Driving usually got me too.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by life right now, maybe you have your own version of that shower. The place where it all catches up with you.

I want to tell you about the morning things started to change for me. It didn't happen in the shower. It happened in a cold, dark pickup at five o'clock in the morning.

When everything feels too big

When you're overwhelmed, your mind doesn't stay in today. It runs ahead.

What if this never gets better?

I wish things were different.

This is not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life.

Sound familiar?

I lived in those what-ifs and I-wishes for a long time. And the more I tried to figure out the rest of my life, the heavier it all got.

Because here's the thing. You can't fix the rest of your life this morning. Nobody can. But when you're overwhelmed, it sure feels like you're supposed to.

The morning in the pickup

At the time, my husband could no longer drive because of his health. So every morning, I got up at 5:00 and drove him to work.

And one particular morning, I was not being a very nice person. Not out loud. But in my head, oh, I was complaining up a storm.

I was cold, tired and whiny, grumbling about getting up at that hour to drive him to work because he hadn't taken care of his health.

To be honest, I was being rather unpleasant.

And then, out of the blue, in that dark cab, I felt it. I heard it.

"Or... you could be thankful you're in a warm, safe pickup on these icy roads. Thankful you both have jobs. Thankful you just left your beautiful, warm home that you love. Thankful."

I burst into tears.

Something shifted in me, right there in that moment. I told my husband what had just happened, and I apologized for my attitude.

That morning changed how I handle the hard thoughts.

"Cancel, cancel, cancel"

After that, whenever I caught myself wallowing, I'd stop and say to myself, "Cancel, cancel, cancel."

It's an intentional redirect. I can't always stop a negative thought from showing up, but I don't have to invite it to sit down and stay. Saying "cancel, cancel, cancel" is my way of saying, No thank you. Not today.

It's a little like changing the channel when something comes on that you don't want to watch. You don't argue with the show. You just change it. And that gives me a moment to choose where my thoughts go next, toward what I'm thankful for and what I actually want.

Then I'd look for something I could be thankful for in that moment, in that situation, or just in life in general.

It doesn't make the hard stuff disappear. But it stops the spiral.

And slowly, I stopped living in the what-ifs and the I-wishes. I started focusing on what I could do now. In this moment.

For today.

That's really all taking it one day at a time is. Not giving up on tomorrow. Just not trying to carry it all this morning.

What one day at a time looked like for me

Here's what surprised me. Once I stopped trying to fix my whole life, the little things started coming back in.

I couldn't focus on a book. My mind just wouldn't settle. But I could listen to an audiobook while I drove. So I did.

I could put on a pair of pretty new socks. (Yes, the socks again. If you've read my post about self-care, you know.)

I could sit and watch the fish in my beautiful fish tank, the one I loved so much.

None of these things fixed my life. But they gave me something good in today. And all of those little things added up. They lifted my spirits, and I started to heal.

I also started each morning with a simple prayer:

"Lord, let me hear what you want me to hear, say what you want me to say, do what you want me to do, and see what you want me to see."

It reminds me that I don't have to have the whole day figured out, let alone the whole year. I just have to show up for this one.

The hard days are still hard

I'd love to tell you I don't cry in the shower anymore.

I still do.

Hard days are still hard. The loneliness is still there some days. But I don't fight them the way I used to. I accept them. I give myself grace. I know I need this quiet time to heal and rebuild me.

And on those days, I feed my mind something good. I love to learn, so I find things that keep my brain happily busy. Like learning to build a website with AI. (Yes, really!) Or, most recently, Viking Christian music. I've discovered it and I love it so much!

Did you have to read that twice? I know. But it makes me happy, and that's the point.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by life, try this tomorrow

You don't have to fix everything. You just have to get through today, maybe with a little more kindness toward yourself than yesterday.

Here's what I'd suggest:

• Start your morning with a few simple words. You're welcome to borrow my prayer. Or find words of your own that remind you to just show up for today.
• When the what-ifs start, cancel them. Say it out loud if you need to: "Cancel, cancel, cancel."
• Then find one thing to be thankful for. Right now. Right where you are. A warm cup. A safe car. A dog at your feet. Anything. (If you like writing things down, gratitude journaling is a lovely way to keep them.)
• Do one small good thing for yourself. Socks, a song, a few minutes watching something beautiful.
• And on the hard days, give yourself grace. A hard day doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.

If your worries feel too heavy to hold, you might also like God Box journaling, a gentle way to set them down.

Just today

I'm still building my life one day at a time. Some days I do it well. Other days, I'm back in the shower with the water running.

But I've learned that I don't have to see the whole road to take the next step.

Neither do you.

Just today. That's all you have to do.

If this is where you are, I'd love to hear from you. Come say hello in our Facebook group, or reach out to me. And if you missed it, this is part of the story I started in Feeling Lost in Life? I Get It.

Tammey