How to Quiet Your Mind: Meditation for Beginners Who Can't Sit Still

Have you ever been completely alone in a quiet house and still felt like you were standing in a crowded room?

That's what my mind felt like.

Not quite a buzzing, but sort of. More like a room full of conversations all happening at once, and I was the only one there.

I'd go from thought to thought to thought. What I needed to do, what I should have done, what I could do better, what needed to be addressed. Laundry, work, personal stuff. Should've, would've, could've.

It was worst at night, when the house was finally quiet. And at 3:00 in the morning, when I'd wake up every single night with thoughts running through my head.

Sound familiar?

If you've ever wondered how to quiet your mind, I want to share what helped me. Fair warning, though. I was terrible at it at first.

I lasted about three seconds

The first time I tried to meditate, I lasted about three seconds.

It was awful.

I tried... and my thoughts wandered. I tried again... and they wandered again. After about the fifth try, I gave up.

It felt silly. Sitting there with my eyes closed, trying to think about nothing, while my mind happily reminded me about the laundry.

And I'll be honest, that wasn't the only time I gave up. I quit easily the first half dozen times or more.

If you've tried meditating and decided it just isn't for you, I understand. I really do. I was right there.

What finally helped: guided meditations

What made the difference for me was guided meditation.

Instead of sitting in silence trying to make my mind behave, I'd listen to someone gently walk me through it. I found plenty of them for free on YouTube.

They helped a little at first. Just a little. It took weeks of trying before I really got any traction.

But I kept coming back to it. And somewhere along the way, it started working.

I couldn't tell you the moment it happened. There wasn't a big breakthrough. It just... did.

Now I can meditate anywhere, at any time. Stressed out? I just go inside and meditate. That's something I never would have believed back when I lasted three seconds.

What about faith?

Some of you may be wondering whether meditation fits with your faith. It's a fair question, and here's how I see it.

Prayer is me talking to God. Meditation is me listening.

I simply calm my mind and allow. No stress, no pressure, no force. I just quietly wait.

For me, the two go hand in hand. I spent years doing all the talking. Learning to be quiet and listen has made room for that inner voice I talked about in Feeling Lost in Life? I Get It.

How to meditate for beginners (from someone who gave up a lot)

I'm certainly no expert. But here's what I'd tell you if you're just starting out.

• Start with a guided meditation. Let someone else lead. Search YouTube for "guided meditation for beginners" and try a short one.
• Expect your thoughts to wander. They will. That doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It means you have a mind! Just notice and come back. (It's a lot like the "cancel, cancel, cancel" I use. You don't argue with the thought, you just gently change the channel.)
• Keep it short. A few minutes is plenty when you're starting out.
• No stress, no pressure, no force. You're not trying to empty your mind perfectly. You're just making a little room to be quiet.
• Don't give up after the first try. Or the fifth. Or the tenth. It took me weeks. If you need permission to quit for a day and come back tomorrow, here it is.

My mind is still busy

I'd love to tell you my mind is calm and peaceful all the time now.

It isn't.

I have a creative, busy, active mind, and it still gets in my way sometimes. I still have nights when the chatter starts up.

The difference is that now I know how to step out of that crowded room for a while.

A little something about sound

Meditation isn't the only thing that has helped me quiet my mind. I've also discovered sound therapy, and I'll admit I mocked it before I tried it.

Then I sat through a singing bowl session, and it impacted me in ways I never expected. It was powerful.

That's a story for another day, and I'll be sharing more about it soon.

Your turn

If your mind feels like a crowded room right now, you don't have to clear everyone out at once.

Just find a quiet corner for a few minutes.

Try one guided meditation this week. If your thoughts wander, smile at them and come back. If you give up, try again tomorrow.

And let me know how it goes. I'd love to hear from you in our Facebook group, especially if you lasted three seconds too.

Tammey