How to Listen to Your Intuition Again (When You've Stopped Trusting Yourself)

Where do you go when you need to think?

For me, it's always been the car. When I was stressed, I'd jump in my vehicle and just head out. That was my thinking place.

Over the years, it was where I'd feel that connection. Where I'd hear from God. Not in an audible way. I didn't actually hear a voice. I felt it more than heard it, but it felt like I'd heard it. Does that make sense?

Maybe you have a place like that. Or maybe you used to.

The day I heard nothing

I remember one day in particular. I was overwhelmed, stressed and so very tired. I just wanted to get away for a little while and get my thoughts straight.

So I drove and drove and drove. I prayed. I listened. I cried.

Nothing.

I didn't feel the connection. I didn't get any direction. Nothing at all.

I came home feeling even more devastated than when I left.

And here's the part that hurt the most. I knew it wasn't God who had gone quiet. It was me. I'd been so focused on the pain, the emptiness, the confusion, the rejection and the loneliness that I'd neglected my side of the relationship.

Trying to see through a muddy windshield

Looking back now, it was a lot like trying to see through a very muddy windshield while flying down the interstate.

The road was still there. The direction was still there. But all that dirt and grime just plain got in the way.

That's what happened to my inner voice too. The quiet knowing I'd relied on my whole life, the intuition that told me when something was right or when I needed to pay attention, was buried under everything else.

If you've stopped trusting yourself, I wonder if your windshield is muddy too. Do you second-guess decisions you used to make without thinking? Do other people's opinions feel louder than your own? Do you find yourself asking everyone else what you should do?

That doesn't mean your inner voice is gone. It just means it's hard to see through all the mud.

What it looks like when the voice comes through

I want to tell you about a time that inner voice came through so clearly it surprised me. It's a long story, so grab your coffee.

My friend Tonya knows me well. She knows I'm a life coach and that I love learning new things. One day she called to tell me about a training on something called the Aroma Freedom Technique, created by Dr. Benjamin Perkus, and she'd gotten permission for me to sit in.

I've been through a lot of self-help webinars and trainings over the years. But I didn't have anything else going on, and I really do love them, so I said yes.

During the training, we were asked to write down something we wanted. I want to publish a book, so on my little piece of paper I wrote, "I am an author."

At the end, we were supposed to stand up, hold our paper, and read it out loud. I'd done exercises like this dozens of times. So I stood up, held my little piece of paper, and read it.

Except what came out of my mouth wasn't "I am an author."

It was, "I am worthy."

I was so shocked! I actually said out loud, "No, no, no, that's not what it says." I planted my feet, held up that little paper, and read it again in my most confident voice.

And out came, "I am worthy."

I sat down and cried and cried.

That was my inner voice telling me what I really needed to hear. Not what I'd written down, but what was true underneath.

The nudge I almost ignored

The story doesn't end there.

The next week, I was headed to a big convention in Utah. When I told Tonya what had happened, she mentioned that Dr. Perkus would be there. I couldn't believe it!

So I looked for him. For four days, I checked the agenda, asked around and kept my eyes open. It was a huge event, and I found nothing.

On the last day, I was standing in a very long line to hear a speaker I was looking forward to. And I kept feeling a nudge to talk to the woman in front of me.

But I was so tired. I argued with it. I defended myself. I just couldn't make myself do it.

Then an outgoing woman nearby started asking everyone their names and what they did. I didn't want to participate, but I did. Then she asked the woman standing right in front of me.

"I'm Angie," she said, "and I'm Dr. Perkus's assistant. Have you heard of him?"

I'm pretty sure my jaw hit the floor.

I'd been looking for him every single day, and his personal assistant was standing right in front of me. The very person I'd been nudged to talk to.

We connected on Facebook, and I learned that the very next week, Dr. Perkus was offering an online certification in the technique I'd just experienced. I grabbed the last spot and became certified.

All because of a nudge I almost ignored.

Your inner voice and God's voice

Here's something I've learned along the way. For me, my inner voice and God's voice are not the same.

When God speaks to me, it feels different. It sounds different. It's that deep connection I used to feel on those long drives.

My inner voice is quieter. It often has nothing to do with what I was thinking about. It just pops up as a nudge, a "random" thought, or a sense of which choice is better.

Both of them got drowned out when my windshield was muddy. And both of them are coming back as I clean it off.